By John Buethe. 

Marriage, the building block of civilization. We need to understand why the continuing attack on marriage is putting our society and civilization at risk.  To do this we must discuss the importance of marriage and some of the history involved showing how marriage and family is now under attack.  This piece will look at the original concept of marriage and how that concept has been destroyed through government involvement. 

Marriage is an institution that was ordained by GOD.
Marriage was an institution ordained by God and governed only by churches.  A marriage took place in the church and was a commitment performed before God. The marriage vows usually included, "for richer or poorer in sickness and in health until death do us part".  Marriage was a lifetime commitment and this was especially true when children were involved.  Marriage was considered by many to be the most important commitment they would make in their lives.  

The church governed marriage as a religious institution, which meant that the church would also control divorce.  Because marriage was a commitment before God, the church only granted divorces in the most extreme cases. For the church to consider a divorce there had to be specified reasons or grounds.  Some acceptable reasons for divorce might include adultery,abandonment, or physical abuse.  Divorce was something no person of conscience would want to participate in, and there was a time when divorce was considered the ultimate embarrassment.  When the church controlled  marriage the divorce rates were very low.

Why is marriage important?
Marriage and the family are both a societal and economical units.  When these units are working together inside a stable marriage our society and civilization are on a good path.

Marriage as a societal unit:
Marriage should be the preferred method for any civilized society to perpetuate population and raise it's children.  Biology and common sense show that the intact family is the best way to raise children.  Children need nurturing from both the mother and the father.  Each parent has special abilities in which to contribute to the growth of children physically and psychologically.  They both need to set examples of behavior, interaction with each other, and provide a standard of discipline that will provide valuable lessons in the child's growth process.

Children require and demand a great deal of time and attention from their parents.  Another key aspect of the value of the intact family and is simply the amount of time parents are able to share with children.  The basic household domestic provisions for raising children take time and effort.  These include cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and other domestic tasks.  Then when you add in the other nurturing aspects of play, education, and discipline,the time and effort required increases.  Raising children takes the combined efforts of both parents.  What I am trying to illustrate here is that raising children takes a lot of time and one parent alone can't keep up with all the household responsibilities and nurturing tasks and remain emotionally balanced.  When these tasks are shared between two parents it becomes a team effort and a partnership that works best for all involved.

Marriage as an economical unit:
Marriage is an economical unit and it operates like a small business.  As a business it works best with two people sharing the work and the responsibilities.  The basic costs of the family are the home mortgage, utilities, transportation, food and clothing costs.  There are considerations as to how the family will be funded and this may require both parents contributing time in the work place.  There is also a consideration of how the household chores and obligations will be met.

In an intact family the adults work together to meet the needs of the home and family.  If they work well together and efficiently they will be able to buy a home and possibly put other money into investments or college funds.  This works great with the family living under one roof.  The intact family can work together to build wealth and security for the future and for future generations of the family.

Marriage and family destroyed:
When the family is not intact due to divorce or illegitimacy there is a need for two separate households, one for each parent.  These households almost double the financial costs and expenses involved with rent being the primary cost.  This legal system in most cases puts the children with the mother and removes the father from the household.  It is the father who is forced to set up a new home for himself while he is also expected to continue financially supporting the home where his children live.  In this situation the father is usually financially ruined and the mother also struggles financially.  In most cases there isn't enough money to fund two households.  The two households approach is an economically doomed approach because of the increased costs involved.  This approach will not build wealth or economic stability for the family or society.

Most importantly the separate household approach to parenting is a social disaster.  The father in these cases usually becomes a visitor to his own children.  He will probably get standard visitation that will limit his access to the children to about 8 days a month.  The statistics relating to the single parent households without the father involvement is grim for children. 

These are at risk children who are most likely to drop out of school, take drugs, and be in trouble with the law.  Girls who are raised this way are more likely to become single mothers and perpetuate the single mother problem.

Conclusion:
Marriage as a religious institution provided the best way for a society to raise children.  Two parents working together as a family also provided an economic unit that could build wealth.  The family concept working together raising children and building wealth is the building block of community and civilization.

As we destroy the concept of marriage and family we destroy the building blocks of civilization.
As the percentages of families destroyed or broken increases so will the decay of society and civilization. 
Without the healthy family concept we cannot function as a civilized society.  Without healthy intact families we will be reduced to a society controlled by a socialist government.  

John Buethe

Director M.A.D. Men United   (Men Against (Discrimination)

www.madmenunited.org

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